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Friday, April 9, 2010

9 Months Behind

Well well well--it looks like it has been almost 9 months since I last entered the blogosphere. When I started my blog, one thing I wanted for sure was to be transparent--like that would ever be a problem with me. Could my lack of blogging be any more transparent of who I am--inconsistent. And as with most of my former posts, I usually try to relate; to all my 5 readers, something that God is teaching me through just EveryDay stuff. And well my inconsistency is no different.
Literally I blog for sure once a week---in my head. Why is it that it never makes it to the lap top and onto my blogspot? Why is it that I long--desire--want so badly to share my thoughts--lessons--ideas and yet do very little about it. Why is it that I feel horrible and guilty and like an L-7 loser when someone says, "I wish you would blog Denise" Okay so that is only my mother but still...I feel laden with guilt for not following through with something that I started. Why is it that I feel soooooo incredibly guilty and worthless when I fail to blog?
Well isn't that where we end up spiritually sometimes--inconsistent and left feeling guilty? Oh how I love my Southern Baptist conservative roots. And oh how thankful I am for disciplines I learned growing up in a wonderful little church in Kearney. And sad to say along with that wonderful heritage came a baggage of guilt for not measuring up to what I thought God expected of me. But at 45 years of age (are you kidding me?--I am halfway to 90) the Lord is teaching me to do less and be more--live in grace. And so well my desire, my hope, my intention is to blog more often--for sure more often than once every 9 months--but if I don't it'll be okay. Won't it?

3 comments:

ShaRhonda said...

Looked at my blogroll this morning and saw an update on your blog! Great post! Hope to see you on here more!

tanya said...

it will TOTALLY be ok! we just miss you when you're gone. :)

Kevin Noble said...

Make it 6 people Denise. If I could ever figure out how to create a blog, I'd would be in the same boat. LOL. Gotta love & appreciate God's Grace in all we do or don't do. Take Care, Kevin