9 Months Behind

Well well well--it looks like it has been almost 9 months since I last entered the blogosphere. When I started my blog, one thing I wanted for sure was to be transparent--like that would ever be a problem with me. Could my lack of blogging be any more transparent of who I am--inconsistent. And as with most of my former posts, I usually try to relate; to all my 5 readers, something that God is teaching me through just EveryDay stuff. And well my inconsistency is no different.
Literally I blog for sure once a week---in my head. Why is it that it never makes it to the lap top and onto my blogspot? Why is it that I long--desire--want so badly to share my thoughts--lessons--ideas and yet do very little about it. Why is it that I feel horrible and guilty and like an L-7 loser when someone says, "I wish you would blog Denise" Okay so that is only my mother but still...I feel laden with guilt for not following through with something that I started. Why is it that I feel soooooo incredibly guilty and worthless when I fail to blog?
Well isn't that where we end up spiritually sometimes--inconsistent and left feeling guilty? Oh how I love my Southern Baptist conservative roots. And oh how thankful I am for disciplines I learned growing up in a wonderful little church in Kearney. And sad to say along with that wonderful heritage came a baggage of guilt for not measuring up to what I thought God expected of me. But at 45 years of age (are you kidding me?--I am halfway to 90) the Lord is teaching me to do less and be more--live in grace. And so well my desire, my hope, my intention is to blog more often--for sure more often than once every 9 months--but if I don't it'll be okay. Won't it?