Because I Said So...

I have been thinking alot lately about parenting. Good thing since I have four children to my credit! I was 29 before I had our first--so it would be true to say that I have never been a "young mom"--I was old when I started! So in those twenty something years, while longing to be married to the one and only Carl Lopez, I had plenty of opportunity to observe the parenting skills of others. And I have got to say that I had GREAT parents--they were not perfect for sure (in fact the older I get the more I think we really were dysFUNctional) again, not perfect, but they were really really good.
How do you know what you are suppose to do? I mean there is not a vo-tech or community college you go to that has Parenting 101 or anything. I didn't have a fat clue what I was doing when we brought that little chubby cheeked dark haired blue eyed cutie home--none!! And almost 14 years and three more kiddos later--pretty much I still don't--perhaps a skinny clue but for sure not a fat clue. So here is Parenting 101 according to Denise Lopez (whoopie!) for whatever it is worth. Most (if not all) wisdom is not original with me--just so you know.

1. Dottie Myatt--now there's a mom for you! What a great mom. She and Mr. Sam I am raised three INCREDIBLE kids! Who I feel so fortunate that I got to be a part of their lives. Bill and Lily were in my youth group and little Janie just liked to hang around alot. I asked Dottie once, "Ok what's your secret?" This was way before I had kids and I tucked it away for safe keeping. She told me three things:
A) Pray (duh--sorry Dottie)
B) Be consistent Hard to do--but worth it. Funny things at 3 are NOT funny at 12!
C) Never take the road of least resistance (wow--pretty good advice--which I have tried to put into practice in the Lopez home).

2. My friend Lana (who is my true blue should have been a sister friend) told me to:
Pray they get caught. "Denise," she would say in her Mary Jo from Designing Women voice. "They are going to mess up, they are, they are! So you just need to pray that every time they do they get caught." My kids hate that I pray that!!


3. Another thing I pray scripture for my kids. Here are a few passages that I pray for the A's:
A) Genesis 6:9,22 They would be righteous, walk with God, and do everything that God tells them to do.
B) Numbers 14:24 They would be a servant, have a different spirit about them, and that they would follow God wholeheartedly.
C) Luke 1:13-16 That they would be a joy to Carl and I, they would be great in the eyes of God, never drink wine or beer, be filled with the Holy Spirit, and that many will be saved because of their lives.
D) John 1:5 They would be a shining light to their schools, friends, and generation. That they would never be overcome with darkness.
E) Ephesians 4:32 (This is actually the first verse we had our children memorize) That they would be kind to others, forgive others, and know the forgiveness of God.


4. No matter how inconvenient it is:
A) Always address deliberate disobedience (preferably in private--when we could we would pull --and a time or two yank them over to the side to discipline them).
B) Keep your word. When you say, "if you do that one more time you are going to get XYZ punishment."; be sure that you XY and Z.


5) I read a book How to be a Hero to Your Kids by Josh McDowell years ago when I was a youth minister and put it in to practice with teenagers and now make it a "policy" with my own. The whole book was written around the premise of Rules without Relationship equals Rebellion. We have major perimeters, boundaries, RULES whatever you want to call them--at our house. But I can also tell you we spend alot of time pouring into our kids and developing a strong relationship with each of them. I am counting on Josh's equation to be true.


6) Let the little things be little things. We have really good friends that shared a great story with us about their son Kevin, who is like a member of our family. Kev was leaving his shoes in the living room, on the stairs, etc etc. Finally Wanda had it and really got on to him and wouldn't let it go. Les said to Wanda, "When the shoes are gone the boy will be gone." I am sure there will come a day that I would love for tennis shoes or flip flops to be left lying around.

7) Eat together as a family! This is a non-negotiable at our house. We eat together almost every night. There are very few nights that we do not eat together. Sometimes it is at Taco Bueno at 8:30 at night. I can hear some of you already, we don't have time. I dare say I would put my calendar up against yours any day of the week. We are BUSY, but we will always make time to be together as a family for dinner. I really believe this has made a HUGE difference for our children. TV off at the table all together. My mother made this a priority in our home growing up and it is one thing for sure that I have made it one in mine.

8) I read recently on Beth Moore's blog that one thing she would change about raising her kids, is that she would have let them take a friend on vacation with them less and make them depend on each other to have fun with. Aside from the fact that we have 4 and could not afford to take 4 extras, and preferring not to drive a people mover around, we could not transport them!!--I thought this was great advice. I hear all the time people saying, we let each of our kids take a friend--ok once in a while but not every family vacation. Good advice Beth--I agree! I love when I hear my kids in the car on a trip laughing with one another or catch them really enjoying being together on the beach or boat or wherever. I pray for my children to be friends.

Well this turned out to be a whole lot longer than I thought. I really could go on and on--I love being a mom. I would love to hear your bits and pieces of parenting advice. Again sorry so long--I am just wordy! But come on what do you expect when I only blog once a week.


For an added surprise guess what...I have learned to add pictures!!!!!! Look out! EveryDay with Denise will never be the same! Here is a pick of my four A's on Beaver Lake this past weekend. Nothing like having to hang on to your little sister going 3.5 miles per hour on the water!

Pray for the Stephen Curtis Chapman Family

NASHVILLE, Tenn. — The 5-year-old daughter of contemporary Christian music star Steven Curtis Chapman was struck and killed Wednesday by a sport utility vehicle driven by her brother, authorities said.The girl, Maria, was hit in a driveway on the family residence Wednesday afternoon by a Toyota Land Cruiser driven by her teenage brother, said Laura McPherson, a spokesman for the Tennessee Highway Patrol.McPherson said no charges are expected."It looks like a tragic accident," she said.She said several members of the Chapman family witnessed the accident, which happened in Williamson County just south of Nashville.The brother apparently did not see the little girl, McPherson said. She did not have the name or exact age of the brother, only that he is an older teenager.The girl died later at Vanderbilt Medical Center, hospital spokeswoman Laurie Holloway said.

Chapman, originally from Paducah, Ky., and his wife have promoted international adoption and have three daughters from China, including Maria.Chapman has won five Grammy awards and 51 Dove awards from the Gospel Music Association.The singer's Web site said that Chapman and his wife, Mary Beth, were persuaded by their oldest daughter to adopt a girl from China. The experience led the family to adopt two more children and create Shaohannah's Hope, a foundation and ministry to financially assist thousands of couples in adoption.

The Chapmans did missionary work at Chinese orphanages in 2006 and 2007, according to the Web site."After our first trip to China, my wife and I knew our lives were changing — our eyes and hearts were opening to how big God really is, and we have wanted to experience more of that," Chapman says on the Web site. "We've really wondered whether or not we should just go to China and stay there. But I don't think so. I believe God is saying, 'I want you to go, get your heart broken, your eyes opened, and then take this story back to the church in America and around the world."'Chapman also has released a book about being a father entitled "Cinderella: The Love of Daddy and his Princess."

So sad--please pray for this family. Such a tragedy and so hard to understand.

David VS David

Okay here's the deal dawg. This is my first year to be an American Idol fan. I know I know I am a little behind. Which not to brag, but I do pride myself with USUALLY being fairly with it--whatever IT is. And at 43 years old that isn't always easy to do. Anyway, I don't know where I have been the past 7 years but not watching Idol. My first exposure was 2 years ago when Mandisa was a contestant and I watched off and on--not committed. But I love Mandisa and first became a fan at of course a Living Proof Conference. By the way you have got to visit Travis Cottrell's blog--he blogs about Idol and is funny and right on. Then last year when Melinda Doolittle was on I tried to watch because she was a graduate of Union High School and from Tulsa so I tried to be supportive but was not consistent. But let me say that THIS YEAR I am a FAN! Never missed--and we just stepped into the 21st century 3 weeks ago and got DVR!! Look out. So now for sure we have not missed a single moment.
Let me say I was--I am--and will always be a Jason Castro fan--dreadlocks and all. I refuse to think that his dreadlocks smell I don't care what anyone says!!! Something about him I just like him.
Then there is Hello Miss-where-did-you-come-from-should-have-been-out-in-the top-12-but-still-around-and-growing-on-me-Syesha. It was inevitable that she was off tonight. Cute but not an American Idol--she does need to go on Broadway she is an actress/singer thus Broadway bound. Secondly, let me say I have not been a David Cook fan--at all BUT, he has grown on me and I really really like him. I am willing to admit when I am wrong and was wrong about David Cook. Of course it helps that he is from KC--my hometown (sort of Kearney really but who knows where that is) and currently lives (lived) in Tulsa where I currently reside so that gives a few points in my eyes. It helped that he sang a Switchfoot song last night--which my kids thought was totally cool. But here is why I like him I think he is genuinely an encourager and I want to be like that--EveryDay. I want to clap others on and David Cook has done that on Idol, especially tonight and that was impressive to me. Okay David Archuelta--bless his little heart--can sing like no body's business but really he has little to no social skills--I know I know he is only 17 but come on--David Cook has my vote. GO DAVID--COOK that is!!!
One of the goals for my blog is not to be frivolous and never to blog about meaningless things. I do feel somewhat that Idol is frivolous but let me redeem my blog by saying GO be an encourager --someone needs you to clap for them.

There is weird and then there is God-weird

Weird stuff happens to me. I don't go looking for it, it just happens. Today, I am just minding my own business and I end up helping a young man from Paris, France pick which grade of gasoline to put into his rental car. He was the brother-in-law of one of the players at the LPGA tournament that happened to be in Tulsa this past weekend. That is weird.
Later on, I am sitting in our Creative Team meeting discussing The Kingdom..our current sermon series which began Sunday and by the way is awesome!--minding my own business trying to give some creative input and somewhere in the course of our discussion a video of Louie Giglio comes into play. I thought it was incredible. Then for whatever reason tonight I am on my laptop, minding my own business and I "accidentally" hit my favorite button. I never hit my favorite button and a list of blogs that I wanted to remember pops up. I check out Everyday Mommy because hello I am EveryDay with Denise and so it caught my eye and guess what is front and center on her blog....LOUIE GIGLIO and the same video we watched earlier. Okay that is God-weird. Of all the blogs I could go to and of all the things that could be on there...OBVIOUSLY God intended for me to pay attention to it. God is awesome--so big--so good. I want you to be blessed as well. You my sweet friends are fearfully and wonderfully made. WOW!!! Check it out...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_e4zgJXPpI4

Is that not AWESOME!!! LOVE IT!
I am a blogging loser and tried to figure out how to post this so that you could click on the little sideways triangle in the middle of the paused video and was to no avail--bummer.
I love it when God does Weird stuff when I am just minding my own business.